Cotton Babies Seeks Bloggers

"Natural parenting company seeks on-going relationship with skilled writers with experience in parenthood, sleep deprivation, dealing with toddler tantrums and the joys of potty training. Cotton Babies appreciates fresh content, great grammar and punctuation, deadlines, a humorous and authentic approach to life with a young child, long walks on the beach and great caffeinated beverages. If this is you, please read more below..."

Seriously though, we are looking for a few new writers or bloggers to join our team. We would like to have some fresh voices for some of our regular features like Real Mom Talk, Cloth 101/201 and more. Cotton Babies team members will be traveling to BlogHer 2011 in San Diego, CA next month. While there, we would like to learn more about you and to share more about this opportunity. If interested in writing for this blog and will be attending BlogHer 2011 (or are able to meet with us near the host hotel), please e-mail a writing sample or your favorite blog post to media@cottonbabies.com Please include the text of the article in the body of your e-mail and a link to your blog(s). Once we review the writing samples, we may contact you to set up a meeting to chat with you in person during BlogHer.

Real Mom Talk: Announcing Your Pregnancy

In the last six weeks, I've had about 10 women share with me that they are expecting a new member of their family. It's always fun and amazing to see how a family's personality shows with how they choose to announce a pregnancy. With modern technology and social media, there are even more ways to express your joy about your new arrival.

For today's real mom talk, it's your turn to share your story. How did you tell your family and friends about your pregnancy? Did you shout to the world all at the same time or tell a few key people first? Did you tell the minute you knew or wait until after your first trimester?

Real Mom Talk: Disconnecting from Technology

Unfortunately, today is not so much of an advice blog, but rather a confession and seeking advice from you. I have a confession to make, I LOVE technology. Big surprise, right? I am, after all, the social media coordinator. I've spent years of my life online in some capacity. I've always had a bit of an issue taking the time to disconnect from the online world and focus on the real world. These tendencies are only amplified by each new digital device that fits in the palm of my hand. The truth is, it's not just the internet that is an issue, it's texting and e-mail too.

It's not just me either, my husband works in technology too, so were both available practically 24/7 and could work any hour of the day that is required. The problem is, we are beginning to see how it is affecting our children. It's not unusual for me to find a child on the computer before 7 a.m. at our house, or to have to threaten discipline to get them to save their video game and shut it off at any given time of day. Video games aren't really my thing, but since my husband grew up with them, it's a passion he loves to share with our children. With technology creeping in to so many areas of our life in recent years, how do we carefully draw the boundary lines? Especially when it affects our parenting and our children's future?

Clearly, if you are a blog subscriber or a Facebook follower, you spend a fair amount of your time online too. When your work revolves around technology, it takes it to a whole new level. My question for you today is, how do you disconnect? Do you set up rules for yourself, like you do with your children? Do you limit how many hours a day you are online? Let's chat honestly about what technology means to us and our children today. What's a healthy medium in 2011?

Real Mom Talk: Disaster Preparedness

Since the world didn't end Saturday night, for today's Real Mom Talk, we're talking about disaster preparedness. If you follow Jenn Labit's Facebook page, you may have joined in on a conversation about disaster preparedness recently. Cotton Babies is located in St. Louis, MO. In the last several years, our area has experienced tornadoes, small earthquakes, snow and ice storms that have left our families without power for hours or days. In April, Cotton Babies staff had some disaster preparedness training so that in this type of event, we could be secure in knowing our families were safe and taken care of.

Having lived in Missouri my entire life, I'm the type of girl who would be a storm chaser if I could. When the clouds roll in and the wind whips up, I'm one of the first to run to the nearest window or door to check it out. Since becoming a mother, I've had to learn how to control those feelings and seriously consider how to take care of my family when severe weather strikes. With the recent tornado in Joplin, MO, not far from where I was raised, I've been giving a lot of thought to how my family would survive without electricity, water or phone lines for a day or more.

Where do you being with disaster preparedness? Here are some of the Cotton Babies staff's favorite tips:

• Start with a disaster preparedness site like Ready.gov or the American Red Cross. Both of these resources have lists and suggestions for to get you started on your family's personalized plan and kit.
• Make it local - depending on where you live, you may experience different weather or natural disaster situations. Check with your local state, county and municipality for recommendations specific to where you live.
• Make it age appropriate - if your children are old enough to speak, make sure they know their full name and your full name. With the Joplin, MO tornado affecting the local hospital, we've read reports of children being sent to hospitals miles away, which can make it difficult for the children to be identified and families to reconnect. For more age appropriate tips for young children, check out Sesame Street's Let's Get Ready page.
• For cloth diapering mamas, Dirty Diaper Laundry is hosting a Flats Challenge this week. The idea of the challenge is to gain information and experience on how to cloth diaper without the normal luxuries of pocket diapers and washing machines. This is great information that could be added to your tool kit in case of emergency, when stores may not be open or have disposable diapers available.
• Make an point of contact that your family members will be able to reach in the event of emergency. We've learned from recent disasters that local phone lines can be overwhelmed during emergencies. It's helpful to have an out of town contact person to call or text that lives in an area that is likely unaffected. Another alternative is to send a send a simple text message to like "I'm OK" or "All Safe" to your closest family members. Although it make take a while, text messages will make it through the system eventually, even if phone lines are down.

There are a lot of great resources out there, but these are just a start. Does your family have a plan in case of natural or other disaster? What resources did you use to create your family's plan? What is important to have in a disaster preparedness kit?

Real Mom Talk: Turn That Frown Upside Down

For today's installment of Real Mom Talk, we're trying something new. Today will be the voices of real moms, sharing their tips and experience.

We've all had rough, difficult or just plain bad days. It seems that once you add another life into the mix, the chances of things not going as planned seem to multiply exponentially. So what do you do when you recognize things aren't going so well and how do you change it?

Yesterday, we asked our Facebook fans:

Did your mother ever tell you "Turn that frown upside down"? How do you turn around a rough or difficult day? What do you do to change and improve your mood? Share your tips with us!

We received a lot of great responses and want to share with you what real moms suggest.

Jessica W. of WY said: “I like to blast my favorite music. Exercising helps a lot too. After a good sweat, it's almost like 'what was I mad about?'”

Adriel M. of AL said, “A cup of something warm: tea, coffee, cocoa, and five minutes of just sitting quietly, telling myself it is not as bad as I think. I just find something soothing in holding a steaming mug. Oh, and an uninterrupted shower is always good too.”

Memphis Misfit Mama said, "Get my baby to laugh!"

Ruthie V. of WI said, "I listen to Paul Simon's "You Can Call Me Al" really, really loud and dance around.... never fails to revise my mood."

What do you do when you see you or your children in need of an attitude adjustment? How do you turn the mood in your household around? Share your tips and tricks with us in the comments below.

Real Mom Talk: I'm glad you were born

To my princess,

I'm glad you were born. I'll admit "glad" was not the word that came to my mind the day I sat staring at those two lines as the sounds of three little boys under 18 months of age bombarded me through the bathroom door. Terrified, shocked, worn, nervous... all of these things, but not exactly glad, at least not in those early minutes. Those same emotions flooded me again the day we saw you on the ultrasound and heard you were a girl. I recall thinking, "But I KNOW how to raise boys! I'm not ready for this new challenge!"

Princess, you've taught me how to be a girl. Since you've come along, I've worn more skirts, dresses and heels than ever before in my life. It seems like nearly half my closet is now pink and purple, rather than the old blue and black. You've forced me to control my mouth, so that those inner lies about my true beauty and worth don't escape my lips to find your precious little ears. Your mere presence and the thought that my words and behaviors will shape the woman you will become have motivated me to improve myself. I'm so much more aware of the things that go in and on my body now that you've joined our family. I pray that I'm a good example to you of a healthy, strong, intelligent woman.

I love the way you encourage me to fully embrace womanhood. I look forward to Saturday afternoons when you grab the nail polish and sweetly ask, "Is it time to paint ours nails?" Then you make me choose the color, to ensure that our nails will match. Princess, I love our girl time.

For years I thought I could be content being a mom to only boys. You rocked our world in such a dramatic way; leading to new jobs, new city and a new home. It's so difficult to imagine what our life would be if not for you. I'm sure I would have been content without you, Princess, but I wouldn't be the woman I am today without you to inspire me. I'm truly glad you were born and I love being your mom.

Love, Mom (Heather)

We love using Piggy Paint for our girly manicure sessions, so we wanted to make sure it was included in our Mother's Day sale. Save $1 on all your favorite varieties of Piggy Paint Polish, Refined collection, Project Earth collection and remover.

Be sure to share with us your own "I'm glad you were born" story for your chance to win Cotton Babies gift cards worth up to $100. For details and to enter, visit this blog post.

Real Mom Talk: How to Make New Friends

"Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other's gold." - Author unknown

Life is full of changes, and arguably, none is more life altering than having a baby. It can be difficult if your friends aren't having babies at the same time you are. Maybe their children are older, maybe you are the first within your social circle to have children. You may have found, like I have, that it's difficult to have social outings, especially with those who don't have similarly aged children.

So, if you need new friends that are parents, how do you find them?

While there is no magic formula, one of the best ways to find new friends is to join a class. The class could be a book club, fitness class, library story time, religious study group, Mom's Day Out program or anything you might be interested in. If you live near a Cotton Babies store, try visiting a Tiny Socialite Gathering to meet new parents. If you live in an area with limited class options, keep your eyes open. Watch around at the places you frequent, whether it's the neighborhood park, daycare, a church nursery or anywhere else where moms and kids are around. Look for parents with children of similar age to yours. Put on your best outgoing personality and strike up a brief conversation. If it's a place that you visit regularly, in time, you may discover if you have enough similar interests to build a friendship on.

Shortly after my fourth child was born, I joined a book study. It cost $25 for the book and an additional $10 for childcare, several hours each Wednesday morning for about 12 weeks for the study. I was a sleep deprived mama of 4, all under age 3, but even I could do the math to figure out this was a GREAT deal on childcare. Honestly, I signed up for the book study just to be out of my house and have a small parenting break each week. What I didn't expect was that I would meet new people, some of which were parents of young children as well. I really needed that, as my husband and I had relocated to a new city just months before our baby was born.

What began as pure survival has bloomed and grown into some of the best friendships of my entire life. Granted, four years have passed. No, I'm not friends with everyone from that first group, but I met a few good friends. Those few friends introduced me to new friends, and so on down the line. It took a lot of effort. I had to chose not to be passive; but to smile, chat and step outside of my comfort zone to meet new people. For me, making friends as an adult was much more difficult than making friends as a child, but the effort has paid off in many positive ways.

Do you have real life friends in your town? How did you meet? How do you make new parent friends?

Real Mom Talk: Feelin' fine in just a few minutes time

A while back, we asked for "Real Mom Talk" topics and one mom suggested 'how to look your best when you haven't showered in days.' When I read it aloud to the Cotton Babies offices, a mom immediately answered "Flat Iron!"

While a little tongue-in-cheek, it's a great topic to discuss. It's hard to feel your best when you are sleep deprived and your body is recovering from pregnancy and delivery. Add breastfeeding into the mix and it's easy to feel as if your body is not your own. It's taken some time, but with boldness, I learned to ask moms of multiple children their tips on how to feel "put together" and pretty when you feel flabby and frumpy. Some of these tips can even be used for those final weeks of pregnancy.

My favorite personal discovery was jewelry. Something about wearing a complimentary set with a necklace and earrings made me feel so much prettier and intentional when I left home, even if I was still wearing jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops. I'd pick up pieces in dollar stores, thrift stores and on clearance until I had a rainbow of choices to go with any outfit.

I asked some of the most beautiful women I know to share their tips on how they look and feel their best:

Bekah said, "Belly binding for the newborn days." Cotton Babies has a variety of items including the Belly Bandit to help get your body back in shape after baby. You can see them all in our postpartum section.

"A little lipgloss, blush and mascara go a long way to help you look and feel put together (even if you weren't able to shower that day)," responded Shannon and Jamie agreed.

Libby says, "SMILE!" If you are looking for a reason to smile, she suggests this blog post: Smile.

Heather said, "When I find an everyday a shirt I like, I'll buy it in every color they have that is flattering to my skin tone. I have one go-to pair of sporty flats that can dress up or down. In short: keep it simple. Don't put too much emphasis on how you look unless it effects how you feel."

Feeling confident and put together can mean different things to different people. What do you do to feel your best and put your best foot forward when life leaves you feeling flustered and frazzled? Share your tips, let's learn from each other.

Real Mom Talk: International Women's Day

Today, March 8, 2011 is the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day. You can read more about the history of International Women's Day, the theme and events at the official website. The theme for 2011 is "Equal access to education, training and science and technology: Pathway to decent work for women".

If you hadn't already noticed, the natural parenting and cloth diapering communities are filled with amazing women that work hard to improve the lives of their own family, as well as families around them. These women invent products to fill a need and then ensure the products are created in a environmentally friendly and ethical way. What is interesting about many of these entrepeneurs is that if you ask, they often say they were inspired by women around them: their mothers, aunts and friends.

Arianna Huffington, co-founder and editor-in-chief of the Huffington Post, published a beautiful article today about her mother, "the woman who had the greatest impact on my life". Ms. Huffington shares advice and stories from her mother, including a story about when her mother was working with the Red Cross in Greece. It reminded me that, as women, much of our "work" isn't always a traditional, or even paid, job.

Many great women put forth great effort in organizations that improve the lives of others, regardless of whether they are paid staff or volunteers. We, as women, inherently understand that payoff isn't always financial or personal gain. Many of us long to leave the world a better place for future generations. The women who marched, rallied and pushed governments 100 years ago set the foundation for the liberties we have today. Today, there remain many areas, both in the U.S. and internationally, where women need significant change to improve their lives.

To celebrate International Women's Day, please tell us what organizations you support that work to improve lives of women. Share with us why this organization is significant to you. Let's celebrate together how far we've come and how, together, we can impact future generations.

Real Mom Talk: Lost That Lovin' Feeling?

Disclaimer: Today on the blog we are talking about sex. If you have children who can read and don't want to have an awkward conversation, we recommend reading this with some privacy. We're addressing this issue today because it was a highly requested topic last fall when Cotton Babies customers suggested topics for Real Mom Talk.

Previously, we've discussed in Real Mom Talk about some of the physical changes that occur in our bodies post birth. Today, we're going to discuss a bit about how to deal with the psychological changes.

In those early baby days, you battle sleep deprivation, delivery recovery, trials of breastfeeding and more. Your body may feel like a battleground. You feel pulled in multiple directions, especially if you have more than one child, and we're not even counting housework.

If you are lucky, after a few weeks you begin to feel as if you might be finding a new routine. Then, out of nowhere, it's time for the 6 week post-partum doctor's visit. The doctor gives you the "green light" with a wink and a knowing smile and maybe you groan internally, knowing something else was just added to your to-do list.

Now, I know that's not the case for everyone, but with the informal research I've done, I know it's fairly common. I also know it's not something many moms like to talk about. As women, we also want healthy relationships, and we all know that takes work in a lot of different areas.

When my daughter was born, I found myself with four children, three years and under and living in a multi-family, multi-generational household, including my in-laws. Some very wise women gave me some of the best advice regarding my marriage, and I'm going to share it with you as a pre-Valentine's Day treat.

Simply put, I had to change the way I thought about our sexual relationship. Our family had changed, my body had changed, it only makes sense this aspect of our relationship had changed too.

I had to stop thinking of my husband as yet another person demanding my attention and wanting to touch me. Stop thinking of sex as just a way to have children. Stop thinking it had to be spontaneous like in our newlywed, no baby days. I had to choose to think of sex as the gift only I could give him. He chose me. He asked me to marry him. I said "I do", and this is an exclusive part of my marriage.

The other thing those wise women shared with me was that when you have young children, you have to plan for sex. As much as your life may feel like a soap opera, this part is not easy like in the soaps. You have to plan, communicate and schedule, if necessary. They even suggested coming up with a "secret code" with your husband so you would know when to expect it and you could adequately prepare. And by prepare, they meant mentally as well as physically. Preparing mentally could mean clearing off your to-do list so you wouldn't be running lists in your mind when it was your time as a couple, getting rid of anger about the trash not being taken out or reminding yourself of all the "good old days" when you were a newlywed (you know, those things that would make your heart beat faster and your palms sweat). Preparing physically could be taking a shower (we all know what a luxury those are with a newborn), tidying the bedroom, or wearing a nice outfit that makes you feel good about yourself.

What's a "secret code", you ask? It's something between you and your partner that indicates the other is interested in physical affection. It could be a text message with a special phrase. It could be a certain candle that is lit when you come home from work. I've even heard of a husband who brings his wife her favorite Starbucks drink as their special signal. You may laugh, but it works and they've been married a long time. The idea is that it is a signal you both know and so you both can prepare, mentally and physically, for whatever your agreed upon time and place is.

As ridiculous as all of this may sound, it's helped a lot of couples get through those rough early years with their babies with their relationship still intact.

Here at Cotton Babies, we assume nothing about our customers. This post is about my (Heather's) personal experiences. We realize every relationship is different and we respect those differences.

As you think about your Valentine, how do you manage to keep your relationship healthy through the early years of parenthood? Do you have a secret code that you want to share? Tell us your tips for keeping a lasting relationship with your partner (please keep it PG-13).

Real Mom Talk: Online Interactions

I'll admit, I'm a nerd. My background is in communications and journalism, after working in a newsroom, it was hard to become a stay-at-home mom. As a result, during my years as a stay at home mom, I spent a lot of time online - reading, writing and communicating. So when I read Jeff Pearlman's article, "Tracking down my online haters" a few days ago, I went through a series of responses - understanding, surprise and shame.

I understood, because in my years in the newsroom, I learned how differently people behave when they are interacting with a machine versus a person. One of my early jobs was to translate messages from the Op-Ed phone line into "Letters to the Editor." It was eye opening, and not in a good way, to hear the things people say when they are passionate about a subject. It was shocking to see how much uglier it was when they were shielded by anonymity.

I was surprised by the level of hatred towards a sports writer. I've spent years interacting with women, especially pregnant, nursing, sleep-deprived new mamas online. I know how passionate they can be about their parenting beliefs. What surprised me was that this article was about men, exhibiting this extreme passion about sports.

And then I became ashamed. I won't lie, I've been on both sides of the online hate equation. During my more sleep deprived, hormonal, nothing-going-my-way seasons of life my fingers were sharp and quick to lash out at those who didn't agree with me. I've had to make a few online, public apologies before. I've definitely learned those lessons the hard way. It's easy to click 'post', sometimes easier than pushing backspace.

"It's about consequences, and not suffering from any," says Jacqueline Whitmore, an etiquette expert and founder of etiquetteexpert.com. "There are absolutely no repercussions to writing a nasty comment or e-mail, so people feel they can vent at will. They never think that the person receiving the message might be a real human being."

Howard Bryant, an ESPN writer says in the article:

It's the kick-the-dog syndrome. People believe no one's listening; they think we're not people, they think there are these giant monoliths controlling thought. Then when they realize someone is listening, they rediscover their manners.

I have to agree with Bryant's statement. I know when I was at my worst online was when I felt the most powerless in my real life, my babes were little, my house was a wreck and I felt like a failure in multiple areas of my life. I never took the time to really think about how what I wrote would affect the recipient as they read from their screen. I never considered they might have been up all night with a nursing babe, having a rough patch in their marriage or other things not going well in their life. I never paused to think my words might be one more thing on their "crummy day" list. Though it was never my intent, I know that was the end result more than once.

What do you think of Pearlman's article? Have you been on either side of the online hate equation? What is your process before hitting 'post' in response to a touchy subject online?

Real Mom Talk: When Delivery Doesn't Go As Planned

One of the great joys of pregnancy is envisioning a beautiful, perfect delivery day. We plan those first moments when we meet our new baby as our family lovingly gathers around.

Maybe you wrote out your birth plan, carried it dutifully to your final doctor's or midwife appointments, and made sure you had extra copies for all the nurses, doulas and attendants by your side for delivery. But life doesn't always go as planned.

Personally, I've had three pregnancies, resulting in four children. The brief version goes like this: singleton, twins, singleton; vaginal delivery, vaginal delivery, c-section, VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). You do the math... there's one definitely not as planned delivery in there. Actually only one of my deliveries went even close to my plan.

I'll spare you the gory details, but my twin pregnancy resulted in what my obstetrician called "the delivery from hell". No joke, she actually said those words to me the day after my sons were born.

So what's a mom to do when delivery plans change in the middle of delivery? It may seem a little oversimplified but I'd say, have a baby by whatever means necessary. Most of us who have deliveries that don't go exactly as planned, no matter the changes, we still have a healthy baby once it's all said and done. Unfortunately, even with the amazing knowledge and technology we have today, not every family experiences a happy ending.

I recall a conversation with a friend a few years ago. I expressed how unhappy and uncomfortable I was about my two scars- one from a c-section, one from thyroid surgery. She shared with me wisdom her grandmother had bestowed upon her. I can't recall the exact words, but the message was "Every scar on my body represents a time my life or my child's life was saved." Her words pierced my heart and forever changed how I feel about those (now fading) scars. I could be unhappy about the process, or I could choose to be thankful for medical professionals that did their jobs.

Sure, I recall the scary moments from delivery. I still have the photos of my son, 24 hours old, black and blue from his complicated delivery. He's healthy today, all four of them are amazing, healthy children. Of course, I share my experiences with other moms when they ask. I tell them what I would have done differently. I share the things I know now that I wish I had known before. But most importantly, I choose to be thankful, no matter the process, that I can hold my children in my arms.

Did your delivery go as planned? If not, how did you deal with the feelings that follow an unexpected delivery? Share your story with us.

Real Mom Talk: Indoor Winter Entertainment

Months ago, when we first asked for topics you wanted us to discuss in our Real Mom Talk series indoor winter entertainment was one of the requested topics. Your winters may be long or short, depending on where you live. Regardless of geography or weather, there are occasions where you may be stuck indoors for longer than you (or your children) like. During pregnancy through the toddler and preschool stages, it seems indoor days are more frequent than at other stages of life.

Here are a few of my favorite indoor activities that don't require anything more than a quick search around your house and a little time investment.

Blanket forts - An all time favorite game full of imagination. Create a "fort" for you and your little one to play in together by using a piece or two of furniture and some large fabric you have around the house (blankets, tablecloths, sleeping bags, etc.). Don't forget to drag your favorite toys under the tent to play!

Dance party - Turn up some music and dance your rainy day blues away. Invent new dance moves, burn some energy and improve your mood in just a few minutes.

Food painting - No need to get too fancy for this one. Grab some colorful items from your fridge or pantry and drop a few spoonfuls on the highchair or a tray to let your little one fingerpaint with. Some food suggestions: ketchup, yogurt, pureed baby foods, etc. Keep in mind, this is safe for children who are eating regular foods. Be sure to read labels carefully if your little one is still learning foods.

Rice play - This is for one is for older toddlers. Fill a container with dry, uncooked rice and let your little one dig, scoop, shovel and pour sandbox-style. I learned this one from a librarian when my oldest child was nearly two years old, which leads me to my last recommendation.

Library field trip - the library is a great resource year round. Many parents don't realize how many resources the library has for little ones. Many have story times specifically geared towards 1 and 2 year olds. In addition to great books, libraries also have videos, audio books, games and puzzles available for checkout. The library is a great get away and change of scenery for the whole family, don't forget to pick up a book for yourself!

Most of my favorite indoor activity suggestions came from other parents who had been there, done that. So to finish out, I've included a few of my favorite responses from yesterday's snow day post to share.

Emily from Texas said,

"We love making "edible snowflakes" from tortillas (warmed briefly to make pliable, folded into 1/4s and then cut like a paper snowflake), brush them with cooking oil, sprinkle with powdered sugar and toast in the toaster for a few minutes until crunchy."

BnfJess said,

"We like to pull out the play doh and make fun creatures. Board games(a thing of the past with so many video games now) is one of our favorite things to do. Candy Land is my three years olds favorite right now. He refers to it as the pretty game. :O) "

April said,

"Love making s'mores and reading classics like Little House on the Prarie or Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates. It is isn't raining to hard I love going to the Nelson Atkins art gallery. Kids love the Egyptian exhibit."

Crystal said,

"Our new favorite activity is having a "beach party". We crank up the fire place and put on our swim suits, have a picnic in the living room, and eat ice cream. No better way to beat the long Montana winter blues than, pretending it's not happening. :-) "

MegaP in Florida said,

"Favorite activities for us are board games, reading books to our little ones and telling stories. It's always fun to hear what a 5 year old can come up with! Best part? They don't require power :)"

How do you keep busy indoors during the long winter days? What tips have you received from other moms that have now become your favorites? Share your indoor entertainment tips with us.

Real Mom Talk: I Failed Cloth Diapering

Confession time: I failed cloth diapering... at least my first attempt that is.

When my twins were newborns, money was tight, really tight. During an online search, I was introduced to the idea of cloth diapering. Hours of internet research later, I knew this was what was going to save my family's budget. I shared with my husband, who was indifferent to the idea, but definitely wasn't willing to invest the hundreds of dollars required for start up. I devised a brilliant idea to eBay off some extra stuff around the house to make enough to buy a few start up diapers, then slowly between clearing out my house and the money I'd save on disposables, I would work up to a full stash. Surely, after seeing them in use my husband would change his mind like all those other husbands I'd read about online.

I stalked eBay for hours watching a waiting for the "it" WAHM (work at home mom) cloth diaper of that time to post a lot of diapers that I could afford. Finally I found my magic lot, two yellow outside, dark grey fleece inner, seconds quality cloth diapers. Because it was the wee hours of the morning, I managed to snag the deal before anyone else could bid it above the balance in my PayPal account. They were ugly, but they were mine and they would save my family budget!

I couldn't wait for my package to arrive. I followed the prepping instructions perfectly and put them on the boys... who promptly peed in them 10 minutes later. So then I had to wash them. Let me clue you in to something here, doing the whole laundry process for two diapers is ridiculous. My husband was irritated at how much time it took and I quickly became discouraged.

No one I knew cloth diapered, I was going it alone, except for help from other moms online. I had too few diapers to make it a success and there were no stores to visit for help or product. Keep in mind, my twins are now 6 years old, bumGenius just turned 5 last month. The cloth diapering world was a much different place than it is now.

A few years passed, the cloth diapering world grew, my family moved to a new city and I had another child. A child that I was able to successfully cloth diaper, thanks to a network of moms who I could call on, a local store that I could visit and amazing new products that had recently been invented.

So why did I write this as the first Real Mom Talk of the year? To give you hope. Cloth diapering is a parenting choice, much like breastmilk or formula, co-sleeping or a crib, baby wearing or a stroller. Parenting choices can be difficult and may require investments of time, effort and sometimes money.

As we think about making positive changes for our families for the coming year, remember to take it one small step at a time. If you feel like giving up, find support. If, after giving it your best, it's just not working out, sometimes you have to let it go. If you choose let it go, don't allow guilt to creep in and steal the joy of just being a parent. Only you can know what's best for your family.

Have you ever tried to make a positive change for yourself or your family and failed? Did you ever try again and find success on the second or third try? Share your story with me.

Real Mom Talk: Receiving Graciously

I have a bit of a confession to make here, I haven't always been the most gracious person when presented with a gift.

There is one time in particular that sticks out in my mind. Five or six years ago during the holiday season, my family received an unexpected knock at our door. It was about a week before Thanksgiving and a local church was distributing holiday meals to families "in need".

My memory is fuzzy, it was either the year we had three boys under the age of two, or the year all our sons were less than 3 years old and we had just discovered we were expecting baby number 4. Either way, things were tight, but very few people knew just how tight they were. To this day, I have no idea how we landed on their list. We didn't attend the church and couldn't name a single person we knew that was aware of our situation that might have turned us in.

The guests were kind, brought the food in and with my husband's assistance, carried the turkey with all the trimmings to our kitchen. I'm pretty sure I took a child or two and pretended to be busy, changing a diaper. I was embarrassed and on the verge of angry. How could anyone think we were needy? Who would put our names on one of those lists? Thankfully, my husband was gracious and thankful, maybe it was because he'd had more sleep than I. The strangers said a quick prayer and were on their way.

The tremendous blessing of that turkey was revealed a few days later when family unexpectedly dropped in at a mealtime along their own holiday road trip. We had food enough for everyone, which wouldn't have happened without the gift from the church. We had a lovely, stress free holiday meal with lots of laughter.

In the years since, I've regretted my ungrateful, prideful attitude. I wish I would have had better behavior that night, despite how I felt at the time. That meal made such a positive impact on our family that for the last two years my husband and I have trimmed our personal grocery budget and used holiday bonuses to donate holiday meals to other families through a similar program here in St. Louis. Our children think it's a lot of fun, but have no idea why it is so important to mommy and daddy to buy groceries to donate to other families.

All those years ago, I assumed people just gave because they felt sorry for the "less fortunate", but never did I think that maybe they had personally been in a similar place and received a blessing from someone else. Now I understand that many who give to programs like these have themselves been a recipient at some point in time. They give because they truly understand what a positive difference it can make for a family. They know first hand that meeting a need can take a great deal of stress off a family.

Truthfully, I think many families struggle at some point, especially young families. There are a lot of expenses that go with having a baby and often times one little bump in the road, like a job loss, medical expense or major car repair, makes it difficult to recover financially.

What I now realize is that someone who knew us and likely had survived life with three very young children just wanted to bless us. Thankfully, not even my poor attitude kept me from receiving that blessing, even if it took me a few days to realize what a blessing it was.

That experience, and a few years of maturity, have revealed to me how important it is to be gracious when presented with a gift. Whether it's the ugliest hand knit acrylic sweater from your color blind aunt, a plastic battery operated toy from your mother who knows you don't purchase toys made in China or a turkey given without warning as an act of charity, it's important to be gracious when receiving a gift.

Share with us your story of how you graciously received an unexpected gift or you received an unexpected blessing.

Real Mom Talk: Giving With Grace

I LOVE GIVING PRESENTS! I live to find perfect gifts for people and find great joy when their eyes light up with just how perfectly customized it is for them. It’s never about how much money I spend it’s the hunt, and the excitement of giving someone something that I know they’ll use or LOVE. I discovered one of my friends who volunteers at my church every Sunday morning always stops at Panera for a hazelnut coffee so I got him a $10 gift card so the next few weeks are one me. Another time I heard a friend mention she really liked brown betty tea pots when we just happened to be talking about tea. I remembered and several months later I got her that tea pot for their birthday, it made her day and she could hardly believe I had remembered. It’s just fun! It brings joy to my heart. Admittedly, there is a delicate battle of ego not to let being pretty good at giving gifts go to my head so I do as much as I can to keep myself in check. There is a very fine line between giving a gift because you know it’s going to bless someone like crazy and giving a gift so you can look super awesome. In Real Mom Talk: Receiving Graciously, Heather opened her heart up about an experience she had when someone gave her family a meal. The timing was spot on for her family, thankfully it doesn’t sound like the givers put on a show of just how wonderful they were and good for them.

Recently, I was in a small local store standing in line waiting to make my purchase. A family walked in, a mom, dad, and two small children. I happened to make eye contact with the little boy and suddenly everything in my heart wanted to give family something. I was so anxious and excited the lady in front of me seemed to be taking forever. Finally it was my turn; I asked the cashier if they had gift certificates, no. They didn’t have a debit/ cash back option either and I had no cash in my wallet. I quickly took my stuff to the car and thankfully there was a Walgreens right next door. It was so exciting. I walked over there as fast as I could, grabbed a simple Christmas card and some fun candy for the kids… of course the line was LONG again. I got the cash, placed it inside the card, wrote “Merry Christmas” and did not sign my name. My heart was racing, I was praying they hadn’t left the store yet, I went back in and started anxiously looking for them, finally I spotted them and then I quickly asked for everyone’s attention in the store and made my very generous gift presentation. JUST KIDDING! Making sure you’re paying attention. I actually hung back a minute, waited for a moment when the kids were distracted, tapped dad on the shoulder, handed him the card and candy and quietly said, “I just felt like I’m supposed to give this to you. Merry Christmas” and quickly turned around, didn’t look back, and walked out. I love the fact that those children probably have no idea what happened… that maybe just maybe that money was something those parents needed to buy Christmas presents, or maybe simply food for that family. The bottom line is, it wasn’t about me, I would rather those parents feel loved and blessed and be able to love and bless their children – to me, that is the best part of giving that gift.

I struggled sharing the story above – it’s actually the first time I've publically told anyone, but I wanted to share the joy of sneaking that little gift. Of course all gift giving doesn't have to be covert or anonymous, it’s entirely appropriate to be open when giving gifts. People always say, “It’s the thought that counts” and I know during a season that is pretty much defined by giving gifts it’s easy to get wrapped up in comparisons of the elaborate present someone else gave you and they weren’t even on your list or revel in the glory of the exact perfect present you've picked out for some one. I also understand there are situations where gifts are obligatory, in these situations we should choose to give with joy and be excited about the opportunity to make someone's world a little brighter. Just as we should all be gracious in receiving gifts, no matter what they may be, we should also give with grace, be thoughtful of how you give to others, and make them feel like it’s all about them and not about you.

Have you ever given a sneaky gift or been on the receiving end from a stealth Santa? Were the gifts given with grace?

Real Mom Talk: My Econobum Challenge

Throughout my cloth diapering career our family has experienced circumstances and phases that have dictated our ability to use (or not to use) cloth diapers. There have been seasons of all cloth all the time, seasons of disposable dependence, and seasons of both (cloth at home and disposables on the go).

I read Jenn's recent post about families struggling to buy disposable diapers and sometimes choosing between buying diapers and food. Providing Econobum to needy families is really exciting. It got me thinking. I know that using cloth diapers saves money. I know that an Econobum Full Kit costs less than $50. I know that Econobum is easy to use and wash. What I didn't know was about the ease of transition for a family switching from disposables to Econobum. So, on Thanksgiving weekend I set out to compare the use of 1 Econobum Full Kit to our typical use of disposables during the busy Holiday season.

My husband works full time; I work full time from home and we have six awesome children. Our house is always bustling (read noisy and probably messy). Our extended family is large and active. Beginning with Thanksgiving and ending with New Years Day we spend weekends going from one celebration to the next. During the weekdays in between our house is in recovery mode.

I am now in the third week of my self-induced Econobum Challenge. I have added 2 Flip Stay Dry Inserts for overnight use because my son has very sensitive skin. I am washing a small load of cloth diapers every morning. I had anticipated that this might be a problem and leave me with no diapers if I got behind on laundry. But something quite the opposite has happened. The daily routine actually has left me victorious in the taming of the laundry volcano! Another unexpected positive has been the lack of diaper pail (or trash can) stink. Econobum has accompanied us on several all-day outings. I was even able to change a diaper on my lap in the front seat of the car while out Christmas shopping. I have been pleasantly surprised with the absorbency of the pre-fold and the cover has contained some serious power poopies.

So far, I would say that Econobum has stood up to the convenience factor of disposables. But alas, there are still a few weeks left in this delightfully busy Christmas season so we will see what I have to report nearer to the end of my Econobum Challenge.

How does your family handle diapering during busy, hectic, or stressful times?

Real Mom Talk: Can I Cry Now?

This week has been a roller coaster of emotion. Sunday, I enjoyed my first Cotton Babies holiday party, celebrating an amazing year of hard work with my new co-workers. It was amazing to be a part of this tremendous company and to see all the hard work invested before I joined the team. At the same time I was celebrating with my co-workers, my husband was in the air, on a flight bound for out of state training. After our party, I rushed to assist a holiday stage production for a few hours before returning home to put my children to bed, well past their bedtime.

I managed to get everyone to all their places on time Monday morning, only to encounter unexpected issues from our Cyber Monday sales when I arrived at the office. Yes, we know Cotton Babies made mistakes, we are human. Our very human team worked very hard this past Monday to do all we could to make it right. It was an emotionally exhausting day and when 5 p.m. hit, I ran out the door to pick up my four children. I'm not too proud to admit, I picked up Happy Meals on the way home to soothe all of our weary spirits.

Tuesday started off early with a child threatening to vomit, running late and a few extra errands added to my busy day. Today, I'm running on more caffeine than my thirty-something body likes to ingest and I admit, I've eaten more than my fair share of dark chocolates in the last 48 hours. I've even put myself to bed way earlier than normal, just to cope with the exhaustion of my temporary single parenting.

I know there are many single parents that do what I'm doing day in and day out with no end in sight. I know military mamas that do an amazing job holding families together for months on end during deployments. I know my husband will step through the front door in just a few days, that I have a warm house, that I can fill my fridge with food (if I could find time to shop) and that I have the luxury of going through a drive through. I feel bad for complaining. And yet, the stress of being outside of my normal routine, and the addition of a few hormones, make me want to crawl in bed and cry.

Let's face it, being a mom is incredibly difficult, no matter the external circumstances. We all have days, weeks or seasons of life that are particularly difficult for a variety of reasons. It seems these difficult times are more abundant around the holidays with the extra work load involved in holiday festivities, shopping, gift-giving, baking and extra family get-togethers with their intricacies.

I wish I could have sage advice for you today, but I don't have it. I'm tired and worn. So today, for Real Mom Talk, I ask you, what are your tips for when the going gets rough? How do you talk yourself “off the cliff” in a manner of speaking? How do you cope with the darkest days of parenthood and find a way to soldier on?

Real Mom Talk: Surviving The Holidays

Last week was the official start of the holiday season. After all the shopping, menu planning, gift planning and schedule making, I'm already exhausted and I imagine you are too.

As parents, we often want to create magic holiday memories like those we see on a 30 second television commercial. The problem is, my children are much younger, not returning from college and if I smelled coffee brewing before my husband and I awoke, that would be a major red flag at our house.

So how do parents of young children survive the holidays? All the organizational gurus chant “Simplify! Organize! Schedule!” But how do we realistically provide a memorable holiday season for our family, especially when our little ones don't grant us enough time to complete a 'to-do' list without interruption?

One thing I've learned along the way is to pay attention to what my children remember. About this time of year, I ask my kids what they remember most from last year and what they would like to do this year as a family. This clues me in to what they remember, as well as what is significant to each of them, since they have unique personalities. I use this information to build my “must complete” holiday list, a few family activities along with the mandatory tasks of gift purchases, wrapping and travel preparations.

For one of my sons, it's baking cookies while another prefers to hand make ornaments. While it would be easy for my personality to go all “Martha Stewart” with the fanciest recipes and most intricate ornaments, I have to keep in mind activities they will enjoy and that will not easily frustrate them. I've discovered, mostly by trial and error, that to my children, it's about the time spent together, rather than the end product.

As a mom, I have to think about what I can “let go” of to create a happier and less stressful experience. Almost daily during the holiday season I'm forced to remind myself to adjust my expectations to accommodate my children's abilities.

A two year old will make a mess while “stirring” (read: “tossing”) the flour into the cookie dough, so we invest in the pre-made sugar cookies that they can count out and place on a cookie sheet and save the mixing for another year.

My four year old can color (mostly) inside the lines of a pre-printed wooden ornament with a set of washable markers without ruining her favorite outfit. I'll save the glue and paint for the school years, while saving myself precious time that'd be spent cleaning otherwise.

Most years, my Christmas tree is bare from the floor to about 4 feet high. With four children, there are four separate opinions on how each ornament should be hung (and rehung), sometimes numerous times a day. Most evenings, there's a large pile of ornaments underneath the tree. I consciously choose to be okay with that. I tell myself someday I'll have a color coordinated that looks like it's decorated by the Hallmark elves, but I know in my heart the tree I'll stare at for hours will be one filled with homemade ornaments from years gone by made of paper, craft sticks and yarn.

My big goals for surviving this holiday season are relatively simple:

#1. Do one special family activity for each child. I'm trying to make them about 30 minutes each because that's about all the attention span I can honestly expect from my children, given their ages. That may mean we only bake a half batch of cookies, or break up a bigger activity into smaller projects. To keep it stress free, we might do two activities one weekend and none the next if we are busy, as long as each one gets done before the end of the year.

#2. Spend at least 30 minutes one night each week in front of the fire after kid bedtime, with or without my husband. Maybe I'll have a cup of tea, read a good book, paint my toenails or just stare at the fire. Maybe a candlelight bath is your thing, or some time with your favorite holiday album is what works for you. What you do doesn't really matter, what is important is taking care of yourself.

It's a lot like how the airline attendants tell parents to put their oxygen mask on themselves first, so they can then care for the child. If my family is to survive the holidays, I have to take care of myself first. To take care of myself, I have to have a few moments every few days to think my own thoughts, whatever they may be. Any mom of little children understands what a luxury thinking your own thoughts can be. When I have that quiet time, I find it much easier to find grace for the exceptionally difficult days, which always seem to arrive about 24 hours before your in-laws do.

How are you preparing for the holidays? What tips and tricks have you learned that make the holidays more memorable? How do you take care of yourself during this stressful season?

Real Mom Talk: What Happened to my Body?

As many of you have already commented, one of the biggest changes that no one shares with you during the nine glorious months of pregnancy is how many different parts of your body will never be the same after carrying a child.

My body changed slowly each day for nine months to adjust to carry my child and yet I somehow was disappointed when two days after delivery my body still looked six months pregnant. My stomach was saggy, spongy and deflated and my hips were wider than my shoulders. I expected it all to magically snap back into place like a pair of elastic pants as soon as the baby popped out. When it didn't, I felt like a failure.

Equally difficult to accept was the scar that accompanied my c-section. Thankfully, a dear friend pointed out that ugly scar represented a procedure that saved my life and my child's as well. Without that incision, we might neither have survived.

I don't even want to talk about the changes from nursing four children, it's not pretty. Let's just say I'm thankful to live in a day where push-up bras and shape wear are readily available. I just wish I'd known about the Belly Bandit in the early months after my twins were born!

With my children being born so close together, it took years for me to begin to accept what was the new norm for my body. Honestly, I still struggle with my body image. On the inside, I'm still the energetic, athletic high school girl that wore short skirts, knee high socks and fitted shirts. She's now hidden somewhere behind the mask of my new mom body. Adjectives like hot, cute and sexy have been replaced in my mind with strong, powerful and healthy. They are certainly not my favorite adjectives, but they are better than the negative ones that used to fill my mind.

It's taken a lot of work to reach any sort of contentment with this body, most of it battling in my own mind, some of it through diet and exercise. I sometimes wonder if someone had taken the time to share with me how long it takes your body to fully recover from a pregnancy if it might have made it easier, if it would have helped me form more realistic expectations? Maybe not, I don't think there is a magic solution to keep other women from the same struggles and insecurities that come with the changes that occur during pregnancy.

How do you feel about your body, post pregnancy? What was the most shocking change you experienced? Have you accepted your new mom body? What helped you learn to appreciate it?