Pick a Worry, Any Worry

Phthalates, BPA, mercury, dioxins, smog, sunburn vs. vitamin D shortage, MSG, developing too slowly/too quickly, hormones in meat and dairy, pesticides on foods, trans fats, child too chubby/too skinny, too short/too tall, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, when to start solids, vaccines, antibiotic resistant bugs, just plain BUGS, did he just eat dirt, do hot dogs cause cancer...

The list of things we worry about as mommies is very nearly infinite. I am sure you can dream up new ones to add to my list. And that list was just the things we can worry about with a small child, is seems to increase geometrically as they get older and their sphere of experience expands.

I don't know about you, but my piddly human mind just can't contain all of the possible worries that I *needed* to worry about as a mom. There finally came a point where I simply had to let some go.

Does that mean I ignored them? Well I kind of do ignore some of those nagging worries. I don't throw caution to the wind and just give up, but there are some things I just couldn't give my thought time to anymore. I take a deep breath, look my worry in the eye, and let it go. I do what I can and call it good.

With some things that involves making a little change. Take sippy cups for example. I am not going to toss out my whole stash of sippies willy-nilly, but I am going to make sure any new ones I purchase are BPA free ones, and toss the old ones as I can. It means changing our habits so that instead of having 5 cheap sippies for each small child in the house we have just one higher quality sippy, so we need to know where they are. They get washed by hand and kept on the counter between uses.

Small product switches like changing from supermarket baby products to California Baby or Burt's Bees helps me to leave behind the worry that there are too many chemicals leaching into my baby's skin. And the difference in price helps me to remember that these are cosmetics and that I should use them sparingly, especially on young skin.

I buy organic whenever I can. But when there is more month than money I just buy the regular produce and milk. I give it no more permission to take up my time, energy and stress with thoughts that I should be doing more. I keep doing better than I was doing before. My home and my family have fewer toxins than they had a year ago, but there are many more to work on. In the mean time I do my best and live with a little of the idea that "it hasn't killed us yet..."

The media these days thrives on bad news and it can get very easy at times to get sucked into their fear mongering. The stress that they mass produce and pipe into our TVs, computers, and radios can have a worse effect on us and our families than some of the things they are scaring us about. When you feel that stress catching up to you, (and it is only natural that it should, you are a parent and want what is best for your precious child) take a moment and write down the list of worries. Then pick one. Pick a worry, any worry. Ask yourself if there is something you can do about it to make your life or your child's life better. Ignore all the other ones for now, they will wait for you. If you can do something great! If not, look that worry in the face and let it go with the knowledge that you are still doing your best for your family.

Food for Tot

I had hoped that the time would stand still. Breastfeeding is going so swimmingly with Lily, I hate to add the complication of other foods. But the clock never stops, nor does Lily stop growing into her own little person.

In the spare moments I scrape out of my day before falling asleep I have been reading Child of Mine by Ellyn Satter and I am finding it remarkably full of common sense. It is a breath of fresh air and gives me hope that the current problems I am having feeding my 3 year old healthy food (he would live on snacks and never eat at meals if I let him) can be solved for him and prevented with Lily.

When Lily presented me with every single item on the list of readiness for food, I couldn't deny her any longer... and she ate her first food today. And what can I say? She loved it!

But one of the things Ms. Satter mentions in her book is that it is best to mix breastmilk or formula with the rice cereal to keep the child's protein intake up. Mixing it with juice or water (oops, I have always done water... I guess none of my kids have died from it yet.) can increase their carbohydrates and reduce the protein they take in. There was a little more to it, which I will probably butcher if I try to write out, but it was the first time I have really heard a reason for taking the trouble to mix the cereal with breastmilk or formula.

Now it isn't strictly necessary to start solid food with rice cereal or at the same time *I* am doing, but this is one approach. As with all aspects of parenting, it is best to educate yourself and keep in touch with your pediatrician when you have questions or concerns. That said, one of the reasons the author cites for starting with rice cereal is that the child starts out learning how to make the transition from moving food straight down their throat (as with breastmilk or formula) to knowing how to hold the food in their mouth for a moment to manipulate or chew it. Starting with rice cereal diluted with the breastmilk or formula the baby is familiar with allows you to slowly thicken it as the child understands the idea of eating better.

Now all this was to say that I found myself slightly unprepared and really wishing I had anticipated my coming needs with THIS. Of course I could use a regular ice cube tray to store some breastmilk, or even those handy little breastmilk bags, but if I am just using a little at a time, those little bags will get used up fast, and with all the current worries about plastics... well I would just like to avoid that. This handy little ice-cube-tray-with-a-cover is, to quote Cotton Babies directly "FDA-approved food-safe plastic. #4 LDPE (Low Density Polyethylene) and #2 HDPE (High Density Polyethylene). Contains no PVC, Bisphenol-A, or Plasticizer". I feel pretty safe about that. And I won't have to run upstairs to pump at the last minute when it seems like a good time for a snack for Lily.

Soon we will be stepping up to new foods and textures and breastmilk for mixing won't be a problem anymore. A tool like this tray will allow me to pull aside some food before seasoning or mixing from our regular meals and chop it up and freeze a little for later. This saves me both time and money. Remember, once the food is frozen, you can pop it out of the tray and store the cubes in another container so you always have room to freeze a little bit more.

And if you have any doubts about making your own baby food, I challenge you to mash up some cooked peas (from fresh or frozen) and compare them to the peas from jarred baby food.

Jarred baby food is nice on the run, but I want my kids to know how great veggies taste!

Oh, one more thing, this little Fresh Baby Food Tray Set costs less than 20 jars of baby food. Just so you know.

The Laundry Dance

Several years ago, a friend showed me an article in Welcome Home magazine about laundry. The article was entitled, "The Laundry Dance" by Barb Warner and talked about how she worked so hard to get her laundry done.

She would pile it up on the couch to fold it but would get pulled to do some other thing and the pile would sit unfolded. After a day or two she would fold the clothes and move them to the bed so she would HAVE to put them away before she could get in bed at night.

But, inevitably, the kids would have a rough evening or there would be extra cleaning to do (or let's be honest here, a good show on TV) and she would find herself, exhausted, wanting to crawl into bed all too late anyway. So the laundry would move to the basket on the floor of her bedroom. From there, clothes would be scavenged over the next few days until everything had been either worn or unfolded again. Then she would toss in back in the pile of newly washed clothes waiting to be folded on the couch and the dance began anew.

For a few days last week, I found myself having to resort to disposables. Was I behind on my diaper laundry? Not a bit. I confess I have more diapers than could ever fit in my diaper pail, so I always wind up with some clean ones. But over the course of several days - more than a week (I wash diapers about every 3-4 days), I had washed *three loads* of diapers and had not put them away. It wasn't until I had washed the second load that I had folded any of them. Then I washed my husband's work clothes, and those were nicely folded on top of my nicely folded diapers. (That was my big mistake!) And there they sat. They moved up on my bed a couple times only to be relegated back to the basket again as another day passed. The Laundry Dance was alive and well at my house.

It happens with diapers, it happens with socks and my husband's work clothes. Having the extra loads of cloth diapers doesn't make my laundry overwhelming - although it is impressive the amount that a family of nine can produce. Sometimes there are just more important things to do.

And so the Dance goes on...

Reprints of the article can be found HERE, scroll to the bottom of that page for information.

White Onesie

A good friend of mine once pointed out to me that there is just something about a baby in a white onesie. It took me a while to really understand what she meant, but it is true. There is something so pure and perfectly simple about a baby, especially a freshly bathed one, in a white onesie.

There are millions of beautiful baby clothes out there, why something so boring as a white onesie? I think that it is because when your baby is in a white onesie, what you look at is just the baby. There is nothing to distract or embellish on just The Baby. It is just your precious child there for you to gaze on and adore.

When you give your baby a bath and use just pure water, you dry them, dress them, and snuggle them up close. You can smell that lovely fresh baby smell that is all their own. The baby doesn't need anything to make her beautiful. Just being new and alive and there in your arms is all it takes. Rosy cheeks, soft little lips, tiny ears... and nothing to take your attention away.

Even a rowdy two year old who has whined and made trouble all day can be bathed and dressed in that white onesie and suddenly you have a little cherub in your arms. Just be sure you get a good long look at him before he decorates his clean whiteness with your favorite lipstick or some chocolate sauce.

Pure and simple, all a baby needs.

My Personal War with China

Last year, when the first few recalls came out for toys with lead, I barely blinked. The toys mentioned were not toys I tended to buy on a regular basis, so I just blew it off. I did notice that a few were from brands that are well known and I would tend to trust inherently. They were big brands, brands I would look for and expect quality from. So my confidence in them was knocked down a notch, but that was about all the thought I gave it.

But as a few more recalls rolled out and Christmas was drawing nearer I began paying closer attention. I looked at all of our toys with some suspicion, especially the ones from brands I had formerly respected. Grandparents were asking what to buy the kids for Christmas and one child had an upcoming birthday. How was I supposed to add toys to my home when I didn't trust any of them?

Lily was tiny and not yet putting things in her mouth, but those days pass quickly, and virtually all of my baby toys are made in China by that company I used to trust. Max was almost 3 and no longer had a tendency to put things in his mouth, but I still didn't want to throw my support behind toys that I didn't trust anyway. For a short time I considered banning all gifts from China. After a few days surveying toy stores and internet sites it became clear that was not a viable option. It was too pricey and with Grandparents who don't shop online, it would make it very difficult for them to buy the kids gifts.

I nearly despaired of my purchasing policies making any impact on my own home let alone on what manufacturers do. But then I remembered that the smallest action can make a difference. If I don't change anything because my tiny change won't make a difference, and others think the same, then no change will come about. But if I buy a few less things made in China, and so do a few other people, then a difference can be made.

Multiply your actions. Consider what will happen if a lot of people to what you are doing. It is something I tell my kids often and it works with both good and bad things. If you spit out your gum in the parking lot you might think, "Fine, what's one piece of gum?" (other than an annoyance to whoever steps in it!) but if every person who comes through that parking lot spits out their gum... well, you get the picture. If you are walking down the street and pick up one piece of garbage it really doesn't look any nicer, but if everyone walking down that street does the same thing, it will be a whole lot cleaner.

If you use one cloth diaper a day, it doesn't impact what you spend per month on disposables much or even how much trash you throw away. At least the difference is very minimal. But if every mom used one per day, then we have eliminated a lot of waste! If I bought one less item from China this past Christmas, and I know others did too, then a change has begun.

Our major purchase this year at Christmas was a new doll house. We had several nice options. The main one in the toy store was not even very expensive. But instead we chose to invest a little more money and buy one that was made in Germany. It cost us over twice as much, but I feel better knowing that it is a safe toy and that my money didn't go to purchase another lead filled toxic toy.

I try to rotate my children's toys as much as possible to keep the mess to a manageable level. It does help a little. I have been sorting through things as they are out of sight as well and streamlining what we have to a healthy and worthwhile collection. It is so easy to get bogged down with STUFF nowadays. My children are none the wiser and have not missed a single thing that I have actually purged. I have found that there are toys that might be rotated out, but they are always missed quickly. It is always the most basic toys; blocks, dolls, cars, the toys that allow the most variety of play are missed the fastest. Then there are toys that are never missed until they see them again, in their box in the garage. So as I go along through the next birthdays and Christmases, those are the collections I will be filling out with more non-toxic, better made toys.

And now Lily is the proud owner of three very nice wooden clutching toys. (I was amazed at how she liked them. I knew *I* liked how they felt and looked better than our plastic toys, but at 4-almost-5 months, she showed an obvious preference. But now you think I'm crazy!)

One purchase at a time, we as consumers can demand a difference in what our marketplace offers us.